i have been feeling so weird lately. but not necessarily in a bad way. nor is it a good way. it is a weird way.

expectations can be really hard to live up to. when something doesn't turn out the way i want it to, it causes a small bitterness in me. i begin to think "why did this not happen?" sometimes i realize my expectations are founded in impossibilities. they are situations that i think should happen, but don't. and when i think about it, the reason they don't happen is because i was believing to much in hope, instead of putting my faith in reality. but no matter how much i know this, that reality is one way and hope another, this doesn't stop me from dreaming, from wanting something even if i know it's an impossibilty.

that i can feel this way, this feeling of hope, is so invigorating. even when my expectations don't meet up with reality, i don't regret having them. in my hopeful expectations, i feel more alive and in love with everything than if i had not had them.

here is a funny picture i came across of me and chris

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