these days, i tell you what!

there is a part in cinderella man where a reporter asks russell crowe's character how he returned to championship form after years of defeats. he says "i know what i'm fighting for now." this is great! seriously, i didn't think about it much during the three times i saw it, but this morning i thought about it and it made me feel empowered. that everyone goes through hard times, but that hopefully they will come out of it knowing what they are wanting and fighting for. and that does not mean that they won't go through hard times again. i feel i will constantly being going through hard times. but as long as i know what i am wanting, and what will make me happy, i will be able to live and love life as much as i can.

from about 4:45AM till 6AM this morning i rode around. i went past friend's and old and new loves houses. i went up on campus and looked upon places where memories have been seared into my mind. i rode past cafe rio and movies 8. i went up to the temple and layed on the grass and looked into the sky. i made my way back and thought of everything i have ever done, everything i want, everything that makes me feel.

people blow my fuck nuts out of the water! seriously, they are so surprising, loving, caring. there are some people in particular, when i think of them, that make me love so much, a love so strong that it causes all other feelings of darkness to disappear.

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