big groups always tend to leave me really fried and unsatisfied. at the beginning i am really anxious of the possibilities. but i usually tend to spread myself really thin, talking a little bit to everyone. i leave unsatisfied with the expectations that i had. often i am not wanting to leave, cause i still have hope of all the great things that could still be in store. i am trying to learn how to handle this. i suppose this deals with wanting what you can't have (the grass is always greener) and being everything to everyone (everclear). learning to become okay with those things as well i think would help.

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