today as i was walking across campus i realized i was part of tho "monotoneous and generic" mass that i had been so heavily criticizing these past few days. i think why i felt that way and why i continue to feel that way is that i seem pretty plain right now.

i have it all wrong with physical looks. i think there is no diversity on campus, but the only reason i think that is because i look around and everybody appears to be the same. no one really stands out, and by this i mean no one is wearing funky clothes and cool, wacky hair.

a couple of days ago i cut my hair and even though i really enjoy it (shout out to ashleigh crazy fuck nut brummer), i find myself wondering who i really am. before i could rely on having semi-long hair to define who i was. i was crazy! now i am defined by having short hair. at least that's what we all grow up learning, that looks define people, that looks are what matter, as opposed to what really counts, intellect and thoughts. that is why i say i have it wrong with physical looks. because though looks can help us know who we would want to associate with, what really matters and connects people are the thoughts that they have. the beliefs and common experiences that they share. these are the things that diversify people. these are the things that can cause societies to unite and fear to be forgotten. but we are trained to think that what diversifies people are the clothes they wear and how they look.

that line about socities uniting and fear to be forgotten was a little over the top.

thinking about some of the people i know who are unique and are actually making a difference in the world (in whatever way), they often are the ones that don't look that radical. but their ideas and thoughts and beliefs are, and that really is exciting. when i see musicians make amazing music yet look like normal people, it makes the music seem more real and honest. but this is all not to say that wearing trendy or crazy clothes is not wanted. i think there is a place for it. i am just saying!

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