on monday i turn 25. 25 seems like a good age.

i have mentioned this before, but i enjoy every year i grow older more and more. i am able to appreciate things better because i have experienced more. and though i find myself to be more depressed or sadder than i have ever been (as i grow older) this is balanced out by the happiest i have ever been and filled with the most love i have ever felt. it is a weird balance i will admit, but something i enjoy nonetheless.

but through all this i still think "i am one year older, and one year more removed from things of yesteryear. things that i truly wanted but am becoming more removed from."

today i was confronted with a decision. i choose the path of more resistance rather than the easier one, and though it was such a small thing, in that decision i felt empowered to be able to change who i am. often times i feel my core is unchangeable, and i guess that is true if you are trying to change it drastically. but if i choose small and simple means to get to the end, i will be able to change slowly over time. but the hard part is doing those small and simple things. they seem so easy in my minds eye, but putting it into practice is the difficult part.

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