it is always a terrible feeling leaving something behind, whether you enjoyed it or not. for some reason, once you leave behind something, you only have good memories of it, or at least i do. and maybe it is not so much that they are good memories, but moreso that i don't remember the bad memories as much. this has always been a factor with me. sometimes i enjoy it. but most of the time i don't. i wish i could just erase old memories and feelings. i think that way life would be easier. i would not get sad or pine for the days of old. sometimes i would rather be numb to things then feel them so extreme. sometimes i wish that i could just have a life that is considered normal; wake up in the morning, go to work, come home to my wife and kids, eat dinner, go to bed. and not feel anything in the process. i think i could be happy like that.

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