a lot of people talk about feeling dissociated from a time or place. or feeling a disconnect with people. today i have been feeling it very stongly, more then ever before. there are certain reasons why this has happened, which i really don't want to discuss. but the interesting thing to me is how strong a feeling it can be one second, and how weak the next. it comes in waves, and when i am feeling it the strongest, i am lost in what i should do with anything. society needs to be connected to work together, and if i am not connecting with things, and am left alone, what is the point of living? i do not offer anything to anybody (at least this is what i am thinking), so what is the purpose of my life? it can be a pretty miserable feeling.

are these feelings real or self imposed? i feel dissociated from things or people because i have removed myself from them. those are facts that i have to live with. but added on top of that is a feeling of complete detachment from all things, whether real or not. or in other words, i feel disconnected from these things, and thinking of how i am disconnected from them, makes me more alienated.

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